Apple of My Eye

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On genetics and sportsmanship...

I swear there is a genetic trait for competitiveness. I've not been able to confirm this, and only if my twins had been separated at birth and raised by monkeys would I actually be able to prove this on my own. So, I'm going on instinct. Hear me out.

Case in Point

APPLE:

Beck competes with his twin brother Max (and 100+ other 3d grade boys) at their first cross country track meet. M places 7th, B places 10th. B cries his little eyeballs out after making it through the chute. Why? Not because his brother beat him, but because he placed LAST in the top 10. Really? Yes, really. It took about an hour to convince him that it was indeed a stellar performance and yes, there is always room for improvement. Next year he can strive to do better.  Where did such high expectations come from? We were just thrilled that he finished.

TREE:

Running has been a sporadic exercise outlet in my adult life, and I've run an array of races over the past 20 years. That said, I've probably never run the same one twice, and I couldn't tell you what time I finished a 10k in at age 25. NOW, I seem to be obsessed by my data, stats and figures, totally nerding out on the details of my workouts. Last weekend I ran a half marathon for the second year in a row. And I had a GOAL. I wanted to beat my time from last year (2:09). I ran my ass off, and tracked it via Runkeeper on my iPhone. The whole time I was averaging a 9:30ish pace, so upon reading the results that I came in at 2:07 (instead of 2:06) I had a FIT. Like a tantrum fit. My dad and hubs were like, "it's only a 1% difference! what's the big deal?" and then--uh oh, "what is your problem? you're acting like Beck".

Unfortunately, my little apple does not fall far from this tree. As much as we try to model an ideal set of behaviors, and communicate realistic expectations we simply cannot expect our children to do as we say and not as we do. I recognize that these patterns lie deep within us, carried from one generation to the next. Can they be changed? As gentle as we treated Beck that day, expressing our great love and support, perhaps I need to do the same for myself. Oh, and for the record...I read the results wrong. I DID finish in 2:06.

Working Mom Guilt #398 Birthdays

Oh No You Didn't!

In the first week of kindergarten, we received invitations for two birthday parties. Luckily both boys were invited to each.

Invite #1. A brother-sister event. The boys asked if perhaps the sister could wait this one out as she is a MAJOR irritation to them. Fine, we don't need to go to this one, they are not particularly close to the new pals. Yes, I am the mom that selects events on their behalf. Am I a snob? No. I'm just really particular about our family time.

Invite #2. An invite to the party of a pal they met last year in PEPP. Wonderful! Charming young girl, in one of the K classes. So when is it? WHAT? But that's a school day. I mean, that is in the middle of the day, okay 2PM, but on a school day! Grrrr.

What bums me out is that I would have been happy to make this party work...on a weekend. Or even a late afternoon! Seriously, is it so unique that both parents might be found working at 2PM on a Thursday? If I don't make it work, the boys miss out. "Oh we can't go, because our Mommy has to work." I simply cannot make an exception for this particular day because I have a major event that night. Sigh.