I mentioned to someone recently that I have an uncanny ability to overhear odd conversations (usually one-sided) in public places. I'm beginning to document these gems...

“No, seriously, I totally slipped on a hot dog, and I nearly died!” (TARGET: Electronics)

"I use it to wash my butt, vagina and pits." (TARGET: Health & Beauty Aids)

"Well, it hasn't really healed. It's just an open, gaping, wound." (Henry's: Cereal Aisle)